silby's bad experience

march has already been a very busy month. let's see....

last sunday jake and i went out for a bike ride around our house for some quick exercise. what was supposed to be a 40 minute ride turned into about an hour of riding, then pulling over to fix flats. both of us got a flat tire, and the second we stopped, jake looked at me like "well, you said you wanted to learn how to change a flat..." So, just as soon as I had made my resolution, i was putting it to good use! normally I would have taken a break with my cliff bar as jake changed our tires... but not this time!

the following morning, i was leaving for work and decided to get my sunglasses. i go to open our car and notice all of our stuff is everywhere - papers on the seat, whatever we had in the back seat was moved around, and there was a horrible stench of cigarette smoke. and ashes and some other gross stuff were on our brand new seats! we quickly concluded that someone broke into our car in the middle of the night.... and by broke in, i mean walked up and opened the unlocked door... yes, i think i forgot to lock it when i was unloading groceries the night before. it was a huge bummer, but we kept saying "it could have been a lot worse". at least Silby (our silver blue subaru) didn't have a window smashed or any real damage. they did steal our 2 ipods and some sunglasses though. the worst part was knowing someone was going through our stuff and just hanging out, right in front of our house. taj and zeek clearly didn't hear a peep either!

so as we're sitting there waiting for the police, our neighbor comes up and needs a jump because his battery was dead. we've seen each other briefly walking to/from our cars for about a year and had never exchanged more than a head nod. so of course we help him. we didn't want to move our car since the cops were on the way and didn't want to touch anything... so jake jumps in Doyle, his '81 toyota that is half dead sitting in our driveway. the neighbor is looking at us like "really, with that thing?" as it's trying so hard just to turn on. we had to laugh that Doyle, who is now non-operable with the dmv, taken off our insurance, can hardly idle, and is in need of some serious TLC,... here he comes to the rescue and can still jump start a honda. man that old beast really has some heart  :)

so jake leaves for work, and im sitting there waiting for the cops - still. and this boxer with a collar on comes running up to our fence, in a panic, who clearly had just escaped his house and was on the loose. i grab our dog treats and a leash and take off running after him. so here i am running like a crazy lady, in my cycling shoes, which are really annoying to walk in, let alone run. i pass several people who are like "is that your boxer? he went that way!" and i'm like it's not mine, but thanks...  a cop pulls up and sees i have a jar of treats and a dog leash, and asks if I'm looking for that boxer.... and i ask him if he can please come by my house after this to do my police report that i called in about 2 hours ago!

i guess the point of all that was that morning started off pretty crappy. there's no doubt about that. but yet somehow, just being given the opportunity to help other people always makes you feel good. and i think it's what turned that morning around. without those light-hearted moments, i think the rest of the day i would have been like "awww man, this sucks. so unfair. can't believe our car was broken into. woe is me..." but it's like we didn't even have time to think like that because other people around you need help. i think if we look for it more often, there are plenty of opportunities to stop what we're doing and help other people.

anyways, today will entail a nice bike ride with jake, and then i'm volunteering at Project Wildlife. i'm still training and there's so much to learn there, and so many species of birds i will need to become familiar with! last sunday was the first time i've held a bird that wasn't a pet. it was pretty neat. i think in the beginning it will be a lot of cage cleaning and hand feeding. but that's fine by me. it's still a great way to help. however, i was disappointed to learn i will not be snuggling with squirrels anytime soon, unless i get a $800 rabies shot.

so birds will do for now! :) 

march: growth

march's focus will be growth. there's so many things I've said I wanted to learn, but I knew I'd only set myself up for a daunting task that I could never complete if I named them all! I really want to learn how to play the piano, for example. But I know this isn't something I can just put on a list and check it off. So I will keep that on my bucket list, but know it's not something that will happen overnight...

so here's what we have for march!

learn photoshop: i was going to take a free class at the local community college, but jake said he could show me how since he's been using it for years. so we downloaded a student version for a free 30 day trial. we had our first little lesson... and wow, that program is super complex! I'll keep myself busy this month trying to learn photoshop!

sewing:

my mom bought me a sewing machine for my bridal shower and i really want to learn how to sew! my mom has always been able to sew basic projects like comforters, curtains, etc... and i have always admired that. so hopefully i'll be able to pick it up quickly. there are videos and things online, but i was also thinking I may just sign up for a class. we'll see.


look up words I don't know when reading: i just liked this idea... i always breeze over a word I don't know, and thought it would be great if I just started this habit.

don't worry about what others think: this is something that I wanted to work on and felt like it fit best in this category. I think I've gotten better about this over the years. Maybe I'm just more comfortable in my skin now than I was 10 years ago. But i do catch myself worrying about what others think of me, or agreeing with things just to be agreeable, maybe not speaking my mind when I feel like I want to, etc... so i'm looking forward to making a conscious effort towards this change.

blog: learning about "blogging" was put on my list when all of this started, before I was certain if i was even going to start this one! just learning how to embed PDFs and things have been a little bit of a challenge for me, so i'm glad that this is a learning opportunity for me, as well as fun!

learn the parts of a bike: i have had an unusual amount of flat tires over the last 2 years. and each time, we're usually on a long ride and jake is always my wonderful hubby that changes it for me. i really need to take the time to learn the parts of my bike, and how to change a flat myself! as well as tighten the cables, raise the seat, and so on... here's just a few pics of jake changing a flat that was NOT his own....  :)

So that is what March has in store for me! Looks like I'll be keepin' myself busy! And I'm also volunteering at Project Wildlife, so hopefully I do that for a few hours on Sundays also...

february recap

well February flew by so fast... it was over before I knew it! I was quite distracted for the first half of the month planning a surprise party for Jake's 40th birthday!! So that really kept me busy - baking, decorating, scheming, all without him knowing! We shoved everyone in the garage, so when he got back from his bike ride, the first thing he did was open the garage to put his bike away....

 and SURPRISE!!!

It was so much fun to do something like that for him. I could just tell he was shocked, especially by our guests who mad it from afar ... Erika, Shane and Tiersy made it from northern CA, and his Mom and Dad came from Utah. It was so wonderful to have all these people take time out of their day to celebrate with him. And I made a scrapbook of photos, well wishes, notes, etc... from friends and family from all over. It was such a neat gift to give him. So, this was something that kept me quite busy in the first half of February.


So what else did I do for February's resolutions? Well we planted a tree in our front yard like we said we would! Her name is Nelly the Nectarine... lets just hope she get nice and big and produces some great fruit! And hope the dogs don't water it.... if you know what I mean....

And last but not least... we adopted!!! Well, kind of....

I remember being like 13 years old and I really wanted to adopt a manatee. I think a girl in my class had done it and i was soooo jealous. I really wanted one... And if you signed up for some membership then supposedly you adopted one... So i came home, pitched it to my mom, and she said no... i was like this is soooo unfair!! And around the same time, my sister, Erika, wanted to join the Janet Jackson fan club. And it was like $60 or something stupid and you got like a "real" letter from JJ herself... which was clearly a stamped autograph at the bottom. So my mom paid for Erika to become a JJ member, but wouldn't pay for my manatee! This is a true story, and you can tell I'm still annoyed by it... (which, by the way, my mom denies this ever happened...)

So, with that, I'd like to introduce Paddy Doyle....

According to Savethemanatee.org, Paddy Doyle is named by researchers after the famous "fighting Irishman". He bears the distinction of being one of the feistiest manatees in the Blue Springs area.

When I went online to pick one, his name jumped out at me and I knew it was meant to be... as Doyle is Jake's Grandpa's name, and Jake also named his beloved '81 Toyota pick-up after him too  :)
So, hopefully we really did just adopt him and this isn't a scam.... though he still shows up on their website as an "adoptable manatee" so we'll see... haha!

Anyways, February went by without me taking the time to make any entries on here. I kept thinking of it, an then I'd get busy. And several times I thought "maybe I should just quit, this is kinda a silly idea anyways... " And I started to feel like I should just call the whole thing off since I had already slacked off so much.... but then I'd remind myself of that favorite commandment of mine "start where you are". It doesn't have to be perfect. And starting wherever you are is better than not starting at all.

So even though I fell off the wagon a bit.... March is now here and I have a new list of resolutions!

february: selflessness

February is upon us! Which means I will switch my focal point to a new resolution: selflessness

It's a good thing I'm done with January's resolution of vitality... I was getting tired of trying to have more energy. (ha! :)  -- because falling asleep on the couch at like 7pm is not the first sign of a person full of vitality! No seriously... it was 7:30 when I crashed out the other night. jake was poking me like a bear to wake up -- talk about a way for a person you love SO much to annoy the heck out of you.... :)

Anywho... January went pretty well. But about mid-month I lost a tad bit of interest. I think it's because I'm a list-checker. And that's why I created my charts, so I could physically check off if I did a certain task that night. And for some reason, I stopped checking things about half way through. So for me to see my overall progress, and the weird joy I get from a completed list, means I will have to be better about checking off when I do something each day. However, something that I know I completed, which makes me feel great, was my craft/project I choose for the month. Late last night, on 1/31, I completed and ordered my 2012 photo book from Shutterfly! This 56 page sucker was quite time consuming. And I typically don't finish the year's prior until about mid next year. So to be done with this by the end of january was awesome. And I ordered that nice canvas print of our wedding! So those 2 projects are done and I'm super happy about that!

So here is February's focus:

my happiness project - February's resolutions by

volunteer: I'm looking forward to volunteering for the animal organization that took in Mr. Squirrel! Project Wildlife takes in over 10,000 sick and injured animals a year. I've attended orientation and had my interview in January so hopefully I can begin volunteering for them asap!

one random act of kindness: "no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted" - Aesop
I'm most excited about this one. I'm going to only talk about this part on this blog if it's something interesting or funny. Other than that, I don't like the idea of doing nice things so I can write about them... seems a little selfish to me! Just know that I'm doing them, as we all should be! Wouldn't the world be a more pleasant place?

be on time: this is something I knew I needed to work on, and I thought "where can i file this into my categories?" and selflessness made the most sense because when you're late, you're being inconsiderate of other people's time, and that is very selfish. So I will work on this one quite a bit.... starting tomorrow!!  ;)  I was 5 minutes late to work. Ooops!

donate to a new charity every month: I already made Project Wildlife the non-profit of the month since I will be volunteering there. But I'm looking forward to getting into a consistent groove of picking a new non-profit to donate to each month. Since this isn't something I will do daily (or I will run us dry!) I won't have a lot of check marks on my little sheet... and that's okay. It's more for the future.

build a neighborhood library: This is a story within itself and I will explain it better in a few days, for the sake of keeping this entry from becoming too long.

just be nice. period: I wanted this to be a part of my project, but I didn't know where to squeeze it in. I'm thinking of this in the sense of when someone is being rude to me, or just cut me off, or is unpleasant at work, or whatever the case may be, i need to just be nice. period. It made more sense in this month's focus because 1) I wanted to work on this part of me ASAP and didn't want to wait until September's mindfulness and 2) I could see the connection in my mind... being selfless means "giving" and being a better person, and to me, that's exactly what just being nice to others is all about.

adopt paddy doyle: more to come on who exactly Paddy Doyle is in the near future... I'm thrilled about this one!  :)

craft/project: plant a tree in our yard: We've been wanting to do this for a while, so this will be a nice push to get us to do it. We're thinking a peach tree possibly.

And that's February in a nut shell! And we're off.....!

happy: the movie

The United States is the 23rd happiest country in the world. And we're ranked as the world’s 7th richest country per capita. Humm...

We watched "happy" last night. its a documentary film that focuses on the nature of happiness and travels the world to explain why certain parts of the world are happier than others. Our brother-in-law, Mark recommended this film and I thought it was awesome. Good call, Mark...  :)


They reference a book I read back in college, which was quite funny. It's called Flow. Flow is the "mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does." There were many examples in the film of people experiencing flow. Some were at work, while being a cook in a busy restaurant. I had to stop and think, when do i feel like I experience flow? 

The age-old adage "money can't buy happiness" was focused on a bit more in this film. In July, my Happiness Project focuses on money so this will come back up again in a few months! Something that I think we all know exists, but I didn't know the name for, is the theory of the Hedonic Treadmill. This is the tendency of a person to remain at a relatively stable level of happiness despite a change in fortune or the achievement of major goals. Good and bad fortunes may temporarily affect how happy a person is, but most people will end up back at their normal level of happiness. We all have our baseline of happiness. So according to the hedonic treadmill, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness.... How many times have people said "if i can just get that raise, then...."

It was found that in the U.S., once a person makes $50,000/year, or whatever number is needed so that basic necessities are met, anything after that makes no difference in happiness.  A rickshaw driver in India was said to be as happy as a middle-class U.S. citizen. Even though the rickshaw driver had little material comforts and his home didn't even have 4 walls! Yet he had an extensive neighborhood support system which greatly contributed to his happiness.

The film explored what places on earth are the happiest and which are the most unhappy.  The most unhappy country was Japan where people work very long hours and literally work themselves to death. They even have a term for it: Karoshi. But surprisingly, one of the happiest places is also just around the corner in a small villiage in Japan called Ogimi. This village boasts of having the world's highest population of centenarians (people over 100 years old!)  When these centenarians were asked why they live so long, they said their community is very close-knit. Neighbors take care of each other and their community is like one family. My favorite part was their concept of burials. When a member of their community dies, they cremate the body, and add them to one coffin where the rest of the ashes are of their fellow Ogimians. This just shows how important community is to them. Many have researched this area, curious what their secret to life may be. It could be their healthy diet of vegetables, all of which are grown in their backyards without any pesticides, eating whole grains and low salt intake, going to bed early and getting plenty of sleep, or their nightly dose of sake, as a 106-year-old woman said. She said it helps her sleep every night, and a good night's rest is most important :)

A key point to remember is that they aren't saying that people who are "happier" do not face adversity in life. Of course they do. its just that they come back to their baseline of happiness quicker. For example, when something traumatic happens, like the loss of a job, a loved one, etc... they are able to come back to their personal level of happiness faster. Each of us is born with a pre-disposition to a certain level of happiness.

I found this to be most interesting: 
A person's happiness level depends 50% on genetics and 10% circumstances. The genetic pre-disposition is determined by characteristics inherited from our parents, especially temperamental and affective traits. And when you start to think things like "I'm unhappy because all these bad things keep happening to me!" that really only makes up 10% of one's happiness. Life circumstances that influence our happiness level are things like personal experiences, occupation, health, income, religious beliefs, marital status, age, etc..

And that leaves a hefty 40% of something that essentially dictates one's happiness, or at least plays a large part in it. And I was interested to see that this 40% is "intentional activities". Therefore, the idea behind this happiness project is to identify the things that make me happy, and DO them! Well as it turns out, this has a large influence on my overall life happiness! Good enough for me! Intentional activity can be broken down into three areas:

Behavioral activities – such as exercising regularly, being kind to others, and spending time socializing. (check, check, and check! These are all focal points of my project -- Vitality, Selflessness, and Relationships!)
Cognitive activities – such as trying to see the best, pausing to count how lucky one actually is.(Yep, that's September's mindfulness focus)
Volitional activities – striving for personal goals, devoting effort to meaningful causes, contributing to something bigger than oneself. (Covering these in my growth and selflessness resolutions)

So, what's the point of all this?

Oh I don't know, maybe I just realized this elaborate plan of simple little resolutions just may have some science behind it! So my Happiness Project Twenty-Thirteen continues!  :)

mr. squirrel

so next month's resolution is selflessness. and one way i can work on being selfless is by volunteering. in order to do this in time for february, i had to sign up a while ago for an orientation. so by the time february comes, i will be ready to volunteer for my organization of choice: Project Wildlife.

how did i discover project wildlife? .... the story is quite amusing.

in our front yard is a huge palm tree. and in this tree lived a fun little squirrel. every saturday morning (seriously, only on the weekends)... the squirrel would climb down the tree and taunt our dogs. especially Taj. Taj and this squirrel had a love hate relationship. though i'm pretty sure taj just wanted a piece of him. but i liked to think they were communicating with each other and would enjoy bantering one another. you have to watch this clip i took a few months back....

it became a part of our weekend that we'd open the door, taj would bolt out, and run and check the tree. and if he couldn't see the squirrel, he'd sit. and wait....

i like to think this squirrel became a part of our lil family. kinda....
so one day, i come home on my bike, let the dogs out to greet me, and i turn around to put my bike in the garage. all the sudden i look up.... and i see the poor squirrel in their mouths. yes, both of them. i'm pretty sure they were tugging on him. i instantly ran over to them, screaming and yelling at them to "drop it!! noooooo!!!"  taj dropped the squirrel right away, and looked at me like "what did i do??" Granted, chasing and catching little brown balls of fluff are in their nature, but of course it broke my heart. so here i am, with an injured-but-not-dead squirrel in our front yard, and of course i'm crying on the phone as I'm trying to tell jake "they got him. they got The Squirrel." he couldn't believe it either. So i have to rush out to my night class and i ask jake to please call me when he gets home (only a few minutes behind me) and tell me how The Squirrel is doing. He was definitely hurt, laying there making all these sad sounds and not moving much, but he wasn't to the point where i felt it was inhumane to leave him. You couldn't pay me to do something crazy like kill him with a shovel or something that I think some other people may have done. he was too cute. and our little friend :(

so my amazing husband, and our incredibly nice neighbor Frank, put the little guy in a towel and took him to a wildlife rescue in San Diego called "Project Wildlife". They didn't even blink an eye to help a rodent like mr. squirrel. i even called to check on him the next day and they said it apprears he'll make it, but he has many months of recovery (now this is partly funny picturing a squirrel in rehab, but i was happy :) And if he didn't survive, they will notify us by postcard. Still no postcard, and "The Incident" happened about 3 months ago.

so, long story, well- long, that is how i signed-up to volunteer for Project Wildlife.  :) My orientation is this Saturday and I'm looking forward to volunteering for such a selfless organization!

don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good

i woke up early this saturday morning and laid in bed with my laptop and started working on my 2012 Photo Book. That is one of my projects for January. And i'm glad I started it, because just starting a 60 page photo book summarizing a whole year is always the most daunting task! my other project for January was to print some wedding photos. We got married back in july but we really don't have any wedding photos up. I did, however, make a nice shutterfly photo album... man i give that company so much business  :)  So last night I ordered a canvas print of the skyline the night of our wedding. this was somewhat against jake's motto of: if he can't make it, we don't have it in our house. bless his little craftsman attitude. i love it, but sometimes you just need to hop online and order something  :) so with his blessing, i did.

This was taken by jessica burke in atascadero, ca. just a lovely shot!! she is an amazing photographer, and i'm proud to say a good friend of mine :)
http://www.jessicaburke.com

Jake and i decided we didn't want a ton of self portraits hanging around, so we thought this was perfect. we'll both always know this was the night we were married.

so i'm enjoying my saturday morning sipping on coffee and working on my photo book. I let the dogs out in the front yard and when i went to go check on them, zeek's solo, just basking in the sun. this can only mean one thing.... yes, Taj has struck again....

He actually looks guilty in this one.  i caught him red handed. this was taken before i wiped all the dirt off his snout. that little turkey. for the longest time i thought rodents were coming into the bin and digging through everything. and this is the same dog who acts like he can't jump into the back of our car and looks to us for a lift. this crate is at least 3 feet tall. though they do help keep life interesting. 

as i wrap this up, we're heading out to mission trails to go mountain biking with the dogs. my "vitality" resolution of january is going pretty well I'd say. i've been taking my vitamins every morning, i've actually held up my "exercise 6 out of 7 days a week" and i've been better about stretching in the morning. I'm straightening up before bed, which i think is helping me be on time in the morning and feels like less clutter to me. clutter annoys me, i'm a believer of that saying about clutter on your desk causes clutter in your mind -- or something like that! I still need to work on "eat breakfast in the morning", i don't know why this is so hard for me. I've done it a few times, next time I should take note and see if it helped me get a better start to my day. 

I'm still not perfect on any of these, but as one of my thirteen commandments reminds me, "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good". to me, this means if you make yourself strive only for perfection, you will ignore all the good things you are doing, or the progress you are making. 

"what you do everyday (no matter how small) matters more than what you do once in a while"

yeah. i like that.