happy: the movie

The United States is the 23rd happiest country in the world. And we're ranked as the world’s 7th richest country per capita. Humm...

We watched "happy" last night. its a documentary film that focuses on the nature of happiness and travels the world to explain why certain parts of the world are happier than others. Our brother-in-law, Mark recommended this film and I thought it was awesome. Good call, Mark...  :)


They reference a book I read back in college, which was quite funny. It's called Flow. Flow is the "mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does." There were many examples in the film of people experiencing flow. Some were at work, while being a cook in a busy restaurant. I had to stop and think, when do i feel like I experience flow? 

The age-old adage "money can't buy happiness" was focused on a bit more in this film. In July, my Happiness Project focuses on money so this will come back up again in a few months! Something that I think we all know exists, but I didn't know the name for, is the theory of the Hedonic Treadmill. This is the tendency of a person to remain at a relatively stable level of happiness despite a change in fortune or the achievement of major goals. Good and bad fortunes may temporarily affect how happy a person is, but most people will end up back at their normal level of happiness. We all have our baseline of happiness. So according to the hedonic treadmill, as a person makes more money, expectations and desires rise in tandem, which results in no permanent gain in happiness.... How many times have people said "if i can just get that raise, then...."

It was found that in the U.S., once a person makes $50,000/year, or whatever number is needed so that basic necessities are met, anything after that makes no difference in happiness.  A rickshaw driver in India was said to be as happy as a middle-class U.S. citizen. Even though the rickshaw driver had little material comforts and his home didn't even have 4 walls! Yet he had an extensive neighborhood support system which greatly contributed to his happiness.

The film explored what places on earth are the happiest and which are the most unhappy.  The most unhappy country was Japan where people work very long hours and literally work themselves to death. They even have a term for it: Karoshi. But surprisingly, one of the happiest places is also just around the corner in a small villiage in Japan called Ogimi. This village boasts of having the world's highest population of centenarians (people over 100 years old!)  When these centenarians were asked why they live so long, they said their community is very close-knit. Neighbors take care of each other and their community is like one family. My favorite part was their concept of burials. When a member of their community dies, they cremate the body, and add them to one coffin where the rest of the ashes are of their fellow Ogimians. This just shows how important community is to them. Many have researched this area, curious what their secret to life may be. It could be their healthy diet of vegetables, all of which are grown in their backyards without any pesticides, eating whole grains and low salt intake, going to bed early and getting plenty of sleep, or their nightly dose of sake, as a 106-year-old woman said. She said it helps her sleep every night, and a good night's rest is most important :)

A key point to remember is that they aren't saying that people who are "happier" do not face adversity in life. Of course they do. its just that they come back to their baseline of happiness quicker. For example, when something traumatic happens, like the loss of a job, a loved one, etc... they are able to come back to their personal level of happiness faster. Each of us is born with a pre-disposition to a certain level of happiness.

I found this to be most interesting: 
A person's happiness level depends 50% on genetics and 10% circumstances. The genetic pre-disposition is determined by characteristics inherited from our parents, especially temperamental and affective traits. And when you start to think things like "I'm unhappy because all these bad things keep happening to me!" that really only makes up 10% of one's happiness. Life circumstances that influence our happiness level are things like personal experiences, occupation, health, income, religious beliefs, marital status, age, etc..

And that leaves a hefty 40% of something that essentially dictates one's happiness, or at least plays a large part in it. And I was interested to see that this 40% is "intentional activities". Therefore, the idea behind this happiness project is to identify the things that make me happy, and DO them! Well as it turns out, this has a large influence on my overall life happiness! Good enough for me! Intentional activity can be broken down into three areas:

Behavioral activities – such as exercising regularly, being kind to others, and spending time socializing. (check, check, and check! These are all focal points of my project -- Vitality, Selflessness, and Relationships!)
Cognitive activities – such as trying to see the best, pausing to count how lucky one actually is.(Yep, that's September's mindfulness focus)
Volitional activities – striving for personal goals, devoting effort to meaningful causes, contributing to something bigger than oneself. (Covering these in my growth and selflessness resolutions)

So, what's the point of all this?

Oh I don't know, maybe I just realized this elaborate plan of simple little resolutions just may have some science behind it! So my Happiness Project Twenty-Thirteen continues!  :)

mr. squirrel

so next month's resolution is selflessness. and one way i can work on being selfless is by volunteering. in order to do this in time for february, i had to sign up a while ago for an orientation. so by the time february comes, i will be ready to volunteer for my organization of choice: Project Wildlife.

how did i discover project wildlife? .... the story is quite amusing.

in our front yard is a huge palm tree. and in this tree lived a fun little squirrel. every saturday morning (seriously, only on the weekends)... the squirrel would climb down the tree and taunt our dogs. especially Taj. Taj and this squirrel had a love hate relationship. though i'm pretty sure taj just wanted a piece of him. but i liked to think they were communicating with each other and would enjoy bantering one another. you have to watch this clip i took a few months back....

it became a part of our weekend that we'd open the door, taj would bolt out, and run and check the tree. and if he couldn't see the squirrel, he'd sit. and wait....

i like to think this squirrel became a part of our lil family. kinda....
so one day, i come home on my bike, let the dogs out to greet me, and i turn around to put my bike in the garage. all the sudden i look up.... and i see the poor squirrel in their mouths. yes, both of them. i'm pretty sure they were tugging on him. i instantly ran over to them, screaming and yelling at them to "drop it!! noooooo!!!"  taj dropped the squirrel right away, and looked at me like "what did i do??" Granted, chasing and catching little brown balls of fluff are in their nature, but of course it broke my heart. so here i am, with an injured-but-not-dead squirrel in our front yard, and of course i'm crying on the phone as I'm trying to tell jake "they got him. they got The Squirrel." he couldn't believe it either. So i have to rush out to my night class and i ask jake to please call me when he gets home (only a few minutes behind me) and tell me how The Squirrel is doing. He was definitely hurt, laying there making all these sad sounds and not moving much, but he wasn't to the point where i felt it was inhumane to leave him. You couldn't pay me to do something crazy like kill him with a shovel or something that I think some other people may have done. he was too cute. and our little friend :(

so my amazing husband, and our incredibly nice neighbor Frank, put the little guy in a towel and took him to a wildlife rescue in San Diego called "Project Wildlife". They didn't even blink an eye to help a rodent like mr. squirrel. i even called to check on him the next day and they said it apprears he'll make it, but he has many months of recovery (now this is partly funny picturing a squirrel in rehab, but i was happy :) And if he didn't survive, they will notify us by postcard. Still no postcard, and "The Incident" happened about 3 months ago.

so, long story, well- long, that is how i signed-up to volunteer for Project Wildlife.  :) My orientation is this Saturday and I'm looking forward to volunteering for such a selfless organization!

don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good

i woke up early this saturday morning and laid in bed with my laptop and started working on my 2012 Photo Book. That is one of my projects for January. And i'm glad I started it, because just starting a 60 page photo book summarizing a whole year is always the most daunting task! my other project for January was to print some wedding photos. We got married back in july but we really don't have any wedding photos up. I did, however, make a nice shutterfly photo album... man i give that company so much business  :)  So last night I ordered a canvas print of the skyline the night of our wedding. this was somewhat against jake's motto of: if he can't make it, we don't have it in our house. bless his little craftsman attitude. i love it, but sometimes you just need to hop online and order something  :) so with his blessing, i did.

This was taken by jessica burke in atascadero, ca. just a lovely shot!! she is an amazing photographer, and i'm proud to say a good friend of mine :)
http://www.jessicaburke.com

Jake and i decided we didn't want a ton of self portraits hanging around, so we thought this was perfect. we'll both always know this was the night we were married.

so i'm enjoying my saturday morning sipping on coffee and working on my photo book. I let the dogs out in the front yard and when i went to go check on them, zeek's solo, just basking in the sun. this can only mean one thing.... yes, Taj has struck again....

He actually looks guilty in this one.  i caught him red handed. this was taken before i wiped all the dirt off his snout. that little turkey. for the longest time i thought rodents were coming into the bin and digging through everything. and this is the same dog who acts like he can't jump into the back of our car and looks to us for a lift. this crate is at least 3 feet tall. though they do help keep life interesting. 

as i wrap this up, we're heading out to mission trails to go mountain biking with the dogs. my "vitality" resolution of january is going pretty well I'd say. i've been taking my vitamins every morning, i've actually held up my "exercise 6 out of 7 days a week" and i've been better about stretching in the morning. I'm straightening up before bed, which i think is helping me be on time in the morning and feels like less clutter to me. clutter annoys me, i'm a believer of that saying about clutter on your desk causes clutter in your mind -- or something like that! I still need to work on "eat breakfast in the morning", i don't know why this is so hard for me. I've done it a few times, next time I should take note and see if it helped me get a better start to my day. 

I'm still not perfect on any of these, but as one of my thirteen commandments reminds me, "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good". to me, this means if you make yourself strive only for perfection, you will ignore all the good things you are doing, or the progress you are making. 

"what you do everyday (no matter how small) matters more than what you do once in a while"

yeah. i like that.

the days are long but the years are short...

it hit me this morning as i passed Robert in the hall at work.

who is Robert? Robert is 89 years old. he has been volunteering for our organization, the Armed Services YMCA, for almost 30 years. Here he is below on his 89th birthday, where we decorated our office with posters of what happened the year he was born, 1923.

I'm sure the math has gotten lost over time, but he's given over 20,000 hours of volunteer service. As long as he's in good shape that day, he comes to our office 4 days a week. sometimes he doesn't have too much activity throughout the day, but his favorite thing to do is play chess. i share an office with Robert. he's the only volunteer we have ever given a desk to :) To every patient who comes back in my office, he grumbles, "do you play chess?" Their answer is usually "no", but once they look over his shoulder and see his cork board decorated with Marine Corps memorabilia, they perk up and give him the respect he deserves.

Robert spent 20 years in the Marine Corps. He enlisted on March 2nd, 1942. Robert's slowing down in many ways, over the few short years I've known him, but when he spouted out that date, "March 2nd of 1942", he said it like it was yesterday. You can just see the love he has for his Marine Corps. He got out as an E7. Nowadays, an E7 is a Gunnery Sergeant. But back in Robert's time, an E7 was actually a Master Sergeant. His post-it note altered plaque that you see below makes me laugh everytime.

Robert was a non-combat Marine. He was proud to tell me he was "in for 20 years and never shot at anyone". He told me he started off in artillery. But he was recently married, and he'd watch all these other Marines leave base and meet up with all these girls and have fun, and he had to work long, overnight hours. He wondered how he could get their schedule so he could go see his wife more often? So when there was an opening, he changed his MOS (job) to administrative. And he never looked back :)

During his time in the Corps, they began issuing drivers licenses to Marines to drive their vehicles. But no one really knew how to drive them! He was in China at the time, and he became a driving instructor. He said "as long as they didn't clash gears too much and didn't hit anybody, they got a license."

After he got out of the Corps, he spent 21 years working for the US Post Office as a mailman. He has an old can of dog repellent spray, it looks like its from the 70's. He still carries it in his jacket pocket today.  :)

So what is the point of all this? To remind us to volunteer and give back, like Robert does? I'm not sure. But i do know it reminds me of my sixth Secret of Adulthood: The days are long but the years are short.

this little life...

so leaving for work this morning made me smile.

i ride my little 2 mile commute with a bike bag on my back. it's full of work clothes, lunch, oh and even a small purse.... it basically holds everything. jake hates that i carry all of this stuff on my back. he says it's unsafe because it messes up your balance, and is bad for your back. i say "ehhhhh". he's been pestering me for a while to put my panniers (aka storage bags) back on my bike. panniers are cool when you're doing a cross-country tour....

(for a cool version of panniers, see below.....)

but on a 4 mile round trip commute, i really think i'll take the uncomfortable, bulging bag on my back versus looking like a dork.

but jake doesn't agree. so as i'm leaving this morning, with my big ol bag on my back, jake's like "i really wish you will let me put panniers on your bike one day"... and i smile to myself, like a kid, because little did he know i was actually carrying weights in my bag too! well, let me rephrase... i carried one of my two 5 lb hand weights in to work. we work out after work and i wanted to bring in my own since i always bum Amy's  :)  I wasn't going to be an overachiever and carry 10 lbs of dead weight! so i carried in one this morning... and i had to smile to myself as Jake's reminding me how much he hates that i do that.... hopefully today is the day he doesn't read this blog....  (love you, dear :)

so then i get to our alley, and i see our "neighborhood friend", edward, who is homeless. he's a really nice guy who seems to have had a rough life. we try to offer him warm coffee when we see him, he's always really kind and gracious. and he has a huge beard, so i always think they, bearded men, somehow help eachother out  :) one time jake had a sandwich cooking in our toaster oven and he came out with it for edward. i was like "wow, now that's nice". i don't know that i'd be as generous as jake is, i'm like a bear when i'm hungry. but he makes me a better person, so it's a good thing. But, i digress....

So i ride past Edward, and say good morning! And he ignores me. which is funny becuase i know when he sees Jake 30 yards later, he won't be ignoring him  :)  but oh well, i think he has his guard up quite a bit and isn't too friendly sometimes. which i'm sure is just a part of his lifestyle. So, as one of my commandments tells me: don't take things personally.

then after i pass Edward, i see our neighbors and their cute little dog who lost one of his legs, just hobbing along, happy to be going for a walk.

and for some reason, i had to just smile at our litttle life. it was a nice smile though.

back to work...

This will be the first full work week I've had since December 21st! I wish every week was a 3 or 4 day work-week! we had a great weekend though. we always try to take advantage of being in a place where you can hike, go to the beach, mountain bike ride, pretty much do whatever you'd like. so yesterday, Jake and I got our exercise in by taking the dogs on a mountain bike ride up in Alpine. It was perfect weather and such a nice start to our morning. We did an out and back trail for about an hour. The whole time we felt like "wow, this trail is nothing like the description..." But kept on going. It wasn't until we got back to the car that we notice a little sign, with a tiny arrow pointing to our left, saying it was the start of the trail head. That whole time we weren't even on the trail! It was more of a fire road. Looks like we'll have to go back and do it right next time. But we did stumble across this super cool rock...

And after that, we had a nice lunch with a good friend who i hadn't seen for a little while. it was so great chatting with them, and enjoying their company. one of the commandments other people had in the book is just show up. this is interesting to me, it's such a simple thought, yet so important. in a friendship, just showing up is half the process. To me, it means make every effort you can to make plans with friends and actually keep them. so just showing up for breakfast was so important since we all have our own lives, busy schedules, and it's hard to stay on track with managing it all. so i am thankful that laura was also able to "just show up" with her husband and little man, so we could enjoy a nice brunch with them!

back to the normal decor...

so i was reminded how unenjoyable taking down Christmas decorations are. it's funny, putting them up I think i had Christmas tunes playing on pandora, i was in some reindeer flannel pjs (true story) and just happy as can be. tonight i had a moment where I thought "i'm so like my mother right now"... sorry mom, but it's true... I can just remember her always frustrated that no one wanted to help her take everything down and it would turn into a chore that us kids would all try to avoid. but our lil house is so small, that i really didn't have much room to decorate, so i kept it pretty minimal this year. at least i think so... i remember when i moved in, jake was like "you have how many storage containers of christmas decorations??  :)

in putting everything away, i thought i'd share a neat and simple idea i saw on.... (wait-for-it)... Pinterest! shocking, i know  :)  Anyways, you know how you never know what do to with your christmas cards every year?? well this little idea seemed brilliant to me! You simply hole punch all your cards, hook them with a binder ring, and then if you want to get more detailed, you can put year tabs like I did, and even do 1 piece of cardboard on the back to give it a solid backing... punch 2 brass tabs through it, get a piece of ribbon, and it will hold it all together with a lil knot! super easy and just add to it every year!

organizational ideas make me really happy!  :) 

there is only love...

my 1st Secret of Adulthood: there is only love.

a little while ago, jake and i started this journal thing (okay fine, maybe it was more my idea than his ;) that i had read about on someone else's blog. You write in a journal back and forth to each other, it can be one line if that's all you have time for, it can be a few sentences. then you hide it so the other person randomly finds it.  it's been a fun game to play and a neat way to leave each other little notes. so I was scrambling this morning trying not to be late to work (future resolution :) and a tad frustrated, tossing my pile of clothes aside, i find.... sigh ....... our journal. with a new, sweet message from jake. and you realize there is only love.

at the end of the day, all things aside, isn't that all that really matters in life??

exercise: check!!

exercise: check!!
rode my bike in to work and it was so cold this morning i had tears running down my face. but its always a nice start to the morning. then my co-work... wait, friend... (i always joke with her that it's cute she thinks we'd be friends outside of work... but i'm just playin with her) ... anyways my friend and i worked out in our office after work. we wheel a tv in there and do Julian Michael's 30 day shred!! its pretty fun actually. Then to top it off, i ran the dogs to the dogpark.

but I still can't get the breakfast thing down. my morning slipped by me and i just got sidetracked. before i knew it, it was 11 and i was so hungry i ate my tuna sandwich and sweet potato fries!! oh well --- see paragraph above, i worked it off! ;)

and i've already ruined tonight's "go to bed early" rule because i was watching pitch perfect. it was acually pretty funny. makes me feel like i missed my call as glee club member or something.... if i could sing and if my highschool had a glee club.

but i do catch myself being super envious when i watch people hip hop dance. i wish i would dance a bit more. it's kind of tied to the "be silly, be light" commandment. however, i have decided to work in some form of dance in my october's resolution of spirituality. okay so that's kind of a stretch once you see what I'm talking about... I attended a Mind, Body, Medicine conference a few years back. It was super interesting, learning about visualization, meditation, positive thinking, and SHAKING!! it was something he made us do every morning. in a conference room with hundreds of people, they'd play this fire-dancing type music (is that even a thing??) and turn the lights down, and you just shake. it's hard to catch live footage of this phenomenon, because no one wants to sign a waiver that allows the posting of a video of them shaking every jiggling ounce of their bodies... but here's a clip...

James Gordon workshop, shaking

after the conference, i did it for a few weeks and actually found it was helpful. it just got you to open up, be silly, and really loosen every part of you.

try it....! 2 minutes is all it takes.

january: vitality

I decided to start january off with vitality... (basically a fancier word for exercise, health, energy, etc...) I figured if i'm going to commit to this project for one whole year, i will need to start the year off with a healthy jump start.

exercise 6 times a week for 20-30 minutes
some of you may already do this, and it's nothing new, but for me, i'll have to make a conscious effort to get some physical exercise in almost every single day. and no, I will not count my little 3 mile commute to work on my bike.... :(

take vitamins daily
if i don't make it something i must do, i get pretty lazy with it.

go to bed earlier ... translation: less tv, and more reading!
this one is like a domino effect. i think, well hope, it will help lay the groundwork for my others. i figure if i watch less TV**, that will make me want to go lay in bed and read. and to piggyback this rule, no more cell phones in bed! jake and i have never been too focused on those things, but since we both got iphones, it's quite easy to get into bed and scroll through facebook. before you know it, like an hour has gone by and you catch yourself looking at someone's pictures, and it's completely irrelevant. i've began to have a love/hate relationship with facebook. i want to use it to keep in touch, but i'm finding it more and more of a time consumer and a negative thing. so i'm going to work on that -- in april. what?!.. one thing at a time here! :)

** the only sidenote i'll set for myself here is a pass to watch my favorite shows: "how i met your mother", "modern family", "glee" (if i'm feelin' it) and i reserve the right to add one more show to this list if i feel so inclined :)  the trick, we've learned, is to only turn the tv on 5 minutes before the show. and try to turn it off as soon as it ends... if not, you just get sucked in!

stretch in the morning
very important to get the day started right! and i can't afford to continue to go to the chiropractor, so this is the cheaper way to keep the body flexible and aligned!

eat breakfast
guilty. i never eat breakfast. i have coffee first thing in the morning, as part of my AM routine, and then i typically don't eat until 10am or so, in front of my desk at work. i'm pretty sure it would help me have a better start to my morning if i just took a few minutes to eat breakfast!

straighten up before going to bed
i thought this was interesting. i tried this a while back and found it useful. i'm the type of person who doesn't like clutter, or things out of place. borderline OCD... but who's judging, right? definitely not random people on the internet.... anyways, so i found that if i straighten up the house, like make sure the dishes are done, the blanket is folded on the couch, the shoes are in the bedroom... it makes for a smoother morning when I wake up. because i'm the type of person who will be late to work every time because i got sidetracked doing things that didn't HAVE to be done.. doing these things the night before is one less thing to distract me in the morning!

and last but not least.... 
in my happiness project, i had to ask myself, what do i really enjoy doing? crafts and projects! i love making things! it makes me feel productive, creative, and is just plain fun. so, i put a twist on my happiness project and decided that each month i will work on a craft/project. So january's project is to complete my "2012 year in review" photobook. i make one every year on Shutterfly. nowadays we keep all these great photos on our computers and phones, and they just sit there. so now i have a way that i can summarize our year, and include funny captions and stories. it's quite time consuming, but i think its worth it.

i've created these monthly checklists to keep me stickin to it! and we're off....!!!  :)

Happiness Project - January by alyshamaryc

what is a happiness project?

It all began about 6 months ago when my sister's book club, comprised of some of her friends, chose to read "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. They live up in the central valley, but she invited me to "virtually" join their book club because she knew I'd be into it. So i began "The Happiness Project". I wouldn't quite call it a "page turner" (sorry, Gretch) as it's her story, and her pursuit of happiness. But i found it to be awfully thought provoking. About mid-way though the book i told my sister, all bright-eyed and inspired, "I'm going to do my own happiness project". She was like "yeah yeah, suuuuure..."  :) And here we are... 

So what exactly is this book?
"One rainy afternoon, while riding a city bus, Gretchen Rubin asked herself, “What do I want from life, anyway?” She answered, “I want to be happy”—yet she spent no time thinking about her happiness. In a flash, she decided to dedicate a year to a happiness project. The result? One of the most thoughtful and engaging works on happiness to have emerged from the recent explosion of interest in the subject"

... so here i am, little ol me, whose never been a "blogger" or a tweeter (did i say that right?? (#don'tunderstandtwitter... haha) or anything like that, has decided to set 2013 as the year of my Happiness Project. I recommend reading the book if you're curious, as of course I won't go into too much detail on EVERYTHING i learned from the book. But I'll try to summarize, and keep most of this short and sweet. though i am a rambler from time to time...

so in life, we all strive for happiness. "wishing you joy and happiness in the new year!"... isn't that nice? We always say it to one another, yet how often do we stop and ask ourselves "what makes me happy?" if we know what those things are, why don't we invest more time in seeking those thing out. or better yet, to help me identify what makes me happy, i had to also understand what makes me unhappy, frustrated, etc.. Once you figure those out as well, you can better identify the opposite that will bring you joy!

 According to the book:

Identify your aims
The First Splendid Truth will help you identify areas to tackle in your Happiness Project.
Ask yourself:
▪ What makes you feel good? What gives you joy, energy, fun?
▪ What makes you feel bad? What brings you anger, guilt, boredom, dread?
▪ What makes you feel right? What values do you want your life to reflect?
▪ How can you build an atmosphere of growth—where you learn, explore, build, teach, help?

So, based on this belief, and following the structure of the book, i came up with 12 categories, or resolutions, to which i will focus my happiness project on. Each month, i will focus on a new  resolution, and hopefully be able to keep the previous month as well! To track if I'm actually making progress, the resolutions need to be concrete and manageable.  So instead of "exercise more", I'll be more specific and say "exercise 20-30 minutes every day". To hold myself accountable, I've created charts that will hang in our office/spare room in our house. I've even dedicated a whole wall to this Happiness Project! Hey, I'm a visual person!

so here are my monthly resolutions:

january: vitality
february: selflessness
march: growth
april: relationships
may: marriage
june: passion
july: money
august: work
september: mindfulness
october: spirituality
november: attitude
december: keep them all


As I started mapping everything out, i got excited at the thought of turning this into a challenge, a game! what will i learn about myself through this project? how will i grow as a person? i think one belief I have about happiness is, well... it's almost like doing a good deed. You shouldn't do a good deed so other people can see you and congratulate you, you do it because you want to. It's kind of the same idea, at least in my mind. If you want to make changes in your life to better yourself, great! Do it, but do it quietly.. you don't need to broadcast it for all to see! It kind of defeats the purpose to me. So even though in the book, Gretchen encourages blogs and going public with it all, i never thought twice about it... NO WAY! after all, that goes against my core belief on happiness! why would i want to write about it?? I should do this project for myself, because i want to, and not to show other people like "hey, look at me, I'm happy!?"

with that said......

So in mapping out my happiness project, i got to my Growth and Selflessness resolutions. I knew I wanted to work on these 2 things, and i came up with concrete ways to do it. And, as you will learn later, creating this blog is fulfilling those two resolutions in their own way. So please forgive me, in advance, if this whole blog idea seems weird and self-centered. if anything, it's supposed to be just the opposite. maybe, just maybe, it will help inspire someone to do the same!

Throughout the book, Gretchen talks about her "twelve commandments". These were  principles that kept emerging as she made her resolutions. They will be interesting to keep in mind as I work through my own happiness project.

My thirteen commandments (i couldn't narrow it any more!) to help keep me on track are:

Be Alysha.
Laugh at yourself.
Be nice. To everyone.
Act the way you want to feel.
Do what ought to be done.
Stop the venting and complaining.
Choose to not take things personally.
Start where you are.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
Let go, let God. 
Be silly. Be light.  
Spend out.
Stop buying useless crap...Own less, love more.

She also comes up with another list i found super interesting: Secrets of Adulthood.  These are lessons she'd learned with some difficulty as she grew up. I like this concept... that some things just take a few hard years to actually sink in...

So my Secrets of Adulthood, that I have pulled from many different places, are:

There is only love.
The things that go wrong often make the best memories.
It's easy to be heavy: hard to be light.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think. 
The days are long but the years are short.
It's okay to ask for help. 
By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished. 
It's important to be nice to everyone.
You don't have to be good at everything. 
If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
You can choose what you do, you can't choose what you like to do.

Wow, this blogging thing took longer than I thought. So tomorrow I will go into more detail about my first resolution for January! Happy New Years day everyone, here's to an amazing year ahead!!